When Times get Tough

• This has been the longest and toughest week so far. Beside the obvious fact of being absolutely sick of being here, I have a new ailment that is drastically effecting my mood, and movement. In the past three months I've had touches of sciatic nerve pain. Since Monday, that pain has been more substantial and more continuous. After waiting three days for the physical therapist to come in on Friday, she informed me that there's nothing much that can be done and it's only going to get worse. She was so negative and kept saying that she just didn't know what to do because she doesn't work with ob patients. She pulled some strings and got the massage therapist to come visit me in the afternoon. My doctor came in after the massage therapist and I updated him on everything. He just shook his head. He showed me a stretch to do, that is absolutely impossible to do alone, and with the help of someone else I can't breathe while doing the stretch. He also recommended sitting on an exercise ball and having someone put pressure on that nerve until the pain decreases. Yeah, like that's possible when I'm here alone!




• So this morning, after breakfast, monitoring, glucose testing, and a visit with my favorite 2 year 356 day old, I showered. The problem didn't begin until I tried to get dressed. It took me five minutes to put on pants because I couldn't put weight on my left leg. Putting on lotion was another painful task. Then I had to dry my hair. The smallest movement triggers that nerve and I find myself getting "stuck" in one place because I can't move due to the pain. This happened a few times, so what do I do? The only thing I could do. Stand there and cry because I can't move. One time I was actually in front of a chair so I sat and cried wondering if anyone would come in to help me....staring at the nurses call button across the room. I think I need one of those buttons around my neck like the commercial "I've fallen and I can't get up!" I finally managed to work up the nerve to get back in bed, which is yet another painful experience. So then I laid down and cried. I'm so sick of this pregnancy. At least before this week I was able to be mobile, now it hurts to even change positions in bed. This sucks, sucks, sucks.




• I had an ultrasound Thursday morning to check the babies and my cervix. The boys are doing great. They keep checking them to see if they're breathing. Tristan usually doesn't have a problem doing this, but we usually have to wait quite awhile for Everett to take a few breaths, if he does at all. Everett is constantly moving which also makes it diffucult to track if he's breathing. My cervix measured between 1.5 and 1.2 (down from 1.7 one week prior). It upset me that it decreased, then I got upset with myself for thinking... "well, the shorter it gets, the sooner they will come and the sooner all of this will be over with!" To my surprise, a nurse came in at 9:45 last night to tell me that an ultrasound tech was on her way up. What? Really? I have no idea why this was ordered, but in she came at 10 PM. Babies are still doing great. Tristan was breathing away, Everett has made progress. The thing that confused me was that the technician measured my cervix at 2.6 cm. It can't grow back together, so it makes me wonder what happened. I'm eager to talk to my doctor today about this measurement. MAYBE he'll believe it and let me go home!!! Yeah, right!!




• So, such is my life in room 220. Painful, frustrated and so eager for all of this to be over with. I've decided to have a c-section after hearing about every possible situation of twin birth. There were many cicumstances that were making me stress, and now I'm alot more calm about that time. We've (my doc and I) also compromised on a delivery date, the second week of May, in which I'll be 35 weeks. Knowing this, I'm pretty sure I can make it three weeks at home after I leave on the 19th (fingers still crossed!).