DETOUR AHEAD

 

As I was preparing for the boys' construction themed birthday party, I hung a sign that says "DETOUR AHEAD". This was three days ago and I can't get it out of my head. I've related so much of my life to the sign that I just had to write it down. Who knew "DETOUR AHEAD" would make me sleepless at night, zone out while I'm suppose to be listening to somebody (I don't discriminate on who I do this to....and I apologize if you were a victim), and cause confusion while I'm trying to cook. That sign! That little sign, dangling from my dining room light (yes, I know it's classy)...maybe by getting this out I will be able to focus on my precious boys turning two tomorrow. TWO!!!!

 

I am a self-admitted Type A personality. There is a plan and a place for all things. Life is a journey and you read the map before you get in the car. The beginning and ending points are clearly defined so that we can plan for the most efficient route in the most timely manner. We do this so we can enjoy that ending point and know that we were well prepared and successful in that journey. So what happens when you see that yellow and black sign that reads "DETOUR AHEAD"? I don't know about you, but I experience some major anxiety. Why me? Why now? But I planned so carefully!

 

When the glimmer of real life shone it's light on me in college, I knew that I wanted to be an accountant. I loved math, I believed I was smart enough to figure out the economics piece (eventually), and most importantly I knew they made a lot more money than a teacher (which is what I wanted to be from the time I was five)! One year into college I saw that yellow sign "DETOUR AHEAD". My grandmother passed away unexpectedly and I began spending a lot of time with my extended family in preparation for her service and then afterward bringing company to my grandfather. It was my mom who noticed that I'd spend most of my time with my younger cousins. One day she laid it out plain and simple: "Sarah, why don't you just become a teacher? It's what you've always wanted to do, and you're good with children." I'm sure a lot of thought went into my change of heart, but at this point all I can remember saying is "Okay." And off to be a teacher I went!

 

There have been smaller detours along my journey to where I am now, but all have made an impact in my life. A few weeks before I was to begin my student teaching in Richland, my supervisor called to tell me that my teaching assignment had fallen through, but "don't worry, we'll get you placed." DETOUR AHEAD! Sure enough I was placed in Kennewick with two of the finest teachers, Connie Hilty and Sharon Frymier, whom I'm eternally grateful to for teaching me what it takes to be successful in the classroom. Through this experience I got a full time teaching job at one of the best schools around. One day Connie opens her mouth.....DETOUR AHEAD...."Have her ever thought about being a principal?" Hmmm, sounds like a good idea. And off I went to get my Master's Degree and Admininstration Certificate. And just think, I could've been a certified accountant by now!

 

So far, these detours haven't been so terrible. Even when they've began as a loss, new life was found. The end destination became more clear, the routes were never too far off course and there was little anxiety over those signs posted on my journey. As my life plan had included, I met a handsome, kind, and smart man, fell in love, got married, bought a house, had a beautiful baby girl, Natalie Dawn...on cruise control. No detours for me! I was a wife, mother, and a teacher. And just when I thought life was on course...

 

This next DETOUR AHEAD was the most unpleasant detour, yet taught me the most about life's precious gift. In the fall of 2009 my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. A mamogram turned into a biopsy, which then turned into a diagnosis of cancer. The unknown was what ultimately controlled this journey. This detour was down a long, dark windy road with few street light. Nobody could see too far ahead to reassure themselves that we would be safe. My heart ached for my mom, for the fear that she had which she tried to hide from us, for the unknown in the path to hopeful treatment, and the trauma that her body and spirit would endure on this journey. I wanted everybody from my family off of this road. Find another detour, turn around, just make it better. My mom was strong in her faith, strong in spirit and showed me that although this detour was dark and terrifying, there is a light to follow. A light that will show you the way to be brave. This was God's plan and we needed to learn from it. Learn to love eachother today, learn to appreciate the gift of life, learn to treat ourselves and others well, and have faith in our creator. The detour has lots of light now; we can see clearly and we're so very thankful that God's plan has included Mom to be in our lives today, healthy and loving.

 

During this time I began teaching full time again. I bring a lot of stress on all by myself. Some people, whom I'm very envious of, can control their stress. They can identify the triggers, know how to avoid it and when unavoidable, can ultimately diffuse it. I'm not one of those people. To me, teaching full time is stressful. I felt I was not being a good teacher, a good wife and most importantly a good mother. I was craving a detour sign with all my being. Please, please, please allow me to change my course. This road is too bumpy, too many turns, too many distractions! Once Kevin and I decided that I'd quit my teaching job and have another child, the anxiety was gone. The stress had been removed. Thank you, God, for allowing this detour in my life. The course on the map did not show all of the potholes and the damage they would cause. Thank you for allowing me to get back onto the "right" course for me, for I know the plan for my life now...

 

DETOUR AHEAD - You guessed it! Twins! After crying for about 24 hours after hearing those words, I finally came to the realization that indeed this was not the course I had anticipated, but here I go, turning down a new and unfamiliar road with many new obstacles (none of which appeared on my laminated map). Not only was this journey on an unknown road, there was no end point. There was no destination. My life course had changed and I didn't have time to think about the future. Every moment was lived in the here and now. With the difficult pregnancy my detour was not pleasant and I could not fully prepare for the two new lives that would enter our family. My body was given a detour (and is still trying to figure out what happened!) and it felt as if I was simply in the passenger seat for this journey, no longer able to control my path. I knew that God was in the driver's seat and that even though I didn't know where I was going, He would get me there safely. He would show me where I was suppose to be and give me everything I needed to be successful.

My most recent detour was going back to work. I was very uncertain of this path and although the road ahead of me was not blocked or under construction, there was an optional detour that I just had to discover. Once I turned down this new road, the anxiety set in. What am I doing? That other road was smooth, straight and I could drive while holding my coffee. Now I'm on this road that seems to take turns out of nowhere, has bumps and dips without any warning signs and I'm spilling my coffee all over myself! Why did I do this? Why did I take this road??? But I can't turn back so on I trek... Oh wait, it's straightening out. And look, I just missed the signs for those dips and bumps. Wait, this isn't so bad! Further down the road I begin to notice how pleasant the drive is and realize that this road, this detour, has turned into an amazing drive. It's full of generous, helpful, loving people. I'm surrounded by small groups of children with whom I can be creative with while teaching some of my favorite subjects. What an amazing detour!

 

My precious boys arrived two years ago. This detour has been the most significant in my life and has taught me so many valuable lessons over the past couple of years. Children live in the present. They don't think about the chores they need to do in coming days, the appointments, the bills, the shopping, all of the planning that goes into "life". These boys have taught me to not focus soley on the destination. Don't hold out for that end point to baske in, baske in the journey of life as it appears at your bedside table each morning. The journey, the detour is what makes life special; it's Gods' plan for you. His laminated map has treasures to bring you so much more joy than you could have ever imagined. I won't say that when those DETOUR AHEAD signs pop up on my path I won't feel anxiety and fear. But I hope that at this point I know that those signs mean that God has something to teach me, to share with me, and to help me grow as a person. It's been difficult to allow a navigator to join me on my journey, but He seems to know what is best for me and my family. Detour ahead should also mean "just wait to discover God's next gift!"